So… what’s up?
Thanks to the influence of my plant-based father, I’ve spent the last few years slurping down beet smoothies for breakfast. Beets definitely give these smoothies a beautiful color and a host of health benefits, but, honestly, they also make smoothies taste like ass. (Sorry, Dad.)
This month, I reached a breaking point. I couldn’t bring myself to blend another smoothie. A pack of roasted beets sat in my fridge, taunting me as it crept towards expiration. The Saga of the Flaming Hot Beet Soup began…
I started with a diced onion and six whole garlic cloves in a pan with a little bit of olive oil. I seasoned those with salt, pepper, cumin, garlic powder, onion powder, smoked paprika, and turmeric. I dropped a big can of peeled tomatoes into the blender with the roasted beets. In went the sautéed onions and garlic, and a little splash of oat milk for creaminess.
I like things spicy, and for this soup, I decided to use both gochujang (Korean fermented chili paste) and chipotle in adobo. I plopped two huge chipotle peppers, a tablespoon of adobo sauce, and a quarter cup of gochujang into the blender. Boom! Simple, spicy, and savory dinner smoothie–sorry, I mean, “soup.”
I invited my girlfriend, Jules, over to sample my creation alongside some grilled cheese sandwiches. When everything was ready, we sat down, excited to eat–and holy shit. It was the spiciest thing I had ever made. I had flown too close to the sun, and we were feeling the burn. I couldn’t waste it though! I cried through three more bowls that week.
I felt determined to redeem myself after this culinary embarrassment. Round two. One tablespoon of gochujang, one large pepper, and a half tablespoon of adobo. FUCK. Somehow, despite scaling back the heat, it still felt like swallowing molten lava.
I would not rest until I could make this soup actually edible. HALF of a chipotle pepper. A teaspoon of adobo. A half tablespoon of gochujang. I blended. I tasted…. Not quite spicy enough. It felt like dismantling a bomb–there was no room for error as I added in a few more drops of adobo. I blended, and prayed.
Finally, the soup was perfect. Smokey and spicy. A little sweet. And, most importantly, it turned my pee red. Thanks, beets.
What have I been working on (other than soup)?
QUEER WINDOW – Thursday, May 13th, 9:30pm EST – Squirrel Theater’s Twitch Channel
Queer Window, the queer sketch team I am writing and acting with, now has a monthly slot with Squirrel Theater! It’s streaming via The Squirrel Theater’s Twitch page (here). No ticket required. Twitch can be viewed on a browser or via an app on your phone. Again, sketches from the show will be uploaded to YouTube, and I’ll share those in next month’s newsletter!
You can watch the sketch I wrote (and animated) for our last show HERE.
SPECIAL FEATURES – Thursday, May 13th, 10pm EST – Squirrel Theater’s Twitch Channel
My friend and collaborator from Awf Mag and Queer Window, Matt Grote wrote this fun show that takes place in the Special Features section of a DVD! I, along with a few other Queer Window folks, will be acting in it! It’s streaming via The Squirrel’s Twitch page directly after the Queer Window show, so stay for the double header!
What am I watching?
A Black Lady Sketch Show. I, unsurprisingly, love sketch comedy. There’s a lot of it these days, but A Black Lady Sketch Show stands out as consistently hilarious and original. The show has a great mix of silly absurdism and cutting social commentary. Watch the whole first season on HBO Max and get excited because season two is premiering tonight (April 23) at 11pm!!!
Who’s making me laugh?
Aparna Nancherla. A standup comic, actress, and writer with an iconic wry wit. Aparna has been on my mind this month because she’s featured in two shows I’m watching/re-watching, The Great North and Mythic Quest. I highly recommend watching her standup on Netflix’s The Standups. Follow her twitter here.
And that’s that!
I hope you enjoy your soup!
Xoxo, Loie